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On paranoia.

14 Mar

I’ve had a bit of “cyber-paranoia” recently. As I’ve mentioned a few posts back, I’ve cut a “friend” out of my life by not talking to her plus unfriending her from my Facebook account. I have to say, life is a smidge better without her really because she never added anything to my life and only basically complained most of the time. I haven’t had any contact with her since the end of January, but I decided to check out her blog to see what she’s been up to. Needless to say, I found an interesting post, one that I thought may have something to do with me, so of course my mind packed its bags and wandered far away…

This post was about people wishing her bad karma and how love is all that matters. Strange things about how “haters” need to worry about their own karma, etc.

This is a perfect opportunity for my anxiety to kick in. And for a minute, it did. Then I remembered my actions or inactions over the past few weeks just in terms of being conscious when talking about other people…

Our mutual friend gave birth to her first child two weeks ago. I went to the hospital twice to see her and her family. Both times my friend’s husband mentioned my former friend and bad mouthed her for not coming to the hospital to see them and their son. Then he egged me on to chime in. Both times I declined and said that I was staying out of that because it’s not my business. Then at their house that weekend, he started talking about her again to me, this time while my friend was in another room taking care of the baby. I simply told him that I cut her out of my life both in reality and in cyberspace (Facebook). I said that I didn’t think that she treated me well and I couldn’t take it anymore. That’s it, nothing more, nothing less.

When I think back to that, I realize that I really didn’t do anything wrong and for once, I truly believe it. Sometimes my anxiety gets the better of me, but not with this.

My goal is to be more conscious of my thoughts that I share with others. In a way, it’s to not come off looking like a jerk, but more so to protect myself from my own anxiety and paranoia. To know that my conscience is clear.

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2 Comments

Posted by on March 14, 2012 in Changing My Situation

 

Tags: , , , ,

2 responses to “On paranoia.

  1. Health Coach Meg

    March 14, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    I can relate. I have been in situation when I literally have done nothing wrong but “paid the price” with “friends”.

    Have peace of mind that you are doing what is best for yourself. Nothing more, nothing less. That is the most important thing 🙂

     
  2. AlyssTG

    March 18, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    Thank you – it helps to know that we all go through this!

     

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