RSS

Category Archives: Facebook Rants

The lessening of Facebook withdrawal symptoms.

Sad to say, but I have had some withdrawal from Facebook this week. I haven’t looked at the website since last Friday with the exception of sending a message to a friend of mine and my boyfriend’s who is currently serving in the U.S. Army overseas in Afghanistan. But I haven’t seen others’ photos, status’, nothing for almost a week and needless to say it’s been an overall good experience. However, I still think about what I may be missing, but those thoughts have decreased throughout the week, which is a plus.

When I start to wonder about what I’m “missing out on”, I bring myself back to Earth and realize how much more time that I have to LIVE MY LIFE. My REAL life. You don’t realize how much time you waste on social media until you cut it out of your routine.

With this newfound free time, I’ve been visiting and reading so many wonderful blogs that I’ve found or who’ve found me on WordPress. I’ve been able to devote much more time to this blog and my fitness blog, 6 in Six. I’ve been catching up on the news and communicating more with my friends and family via traditional means (the phone, face to face, etc.).

I’ve been devoting more time to thinking about my life; i.e. what are my passions, what would I like to explore and possibly pursue both personally and professionally, etc. Granted, self-exploration hasn’t been a pleasant experience for me as it’s made me frustrated and downright depressed in the past few days, but it’s productive. It’s better than staring at my computer screen reading Facebook statuses about people who “love their lives and their jobs” or how “everything is perfect”. Because then I’m just sitting there, not being productive and probably more envious/jealous/depressed/angry than I am today. Let’s be honest, if you have to say it out loud, it’s possible that it’s not exactly true. I believe that there are people on Facebook who like to play the impression management game; they show everyone their wonderful lives, but in reality, things aren’t what they seem. Regardless of the truth, the impression or image that they reflect affects the viewer (in this case me). Even if I know something is not true, sometimes I have a hard time separating the truth from the lies, I believe what I see, and then I get anxious or depressed about how my own life doesn’t even compare. Then again, there are genuinely happy people on there, people who are like the way I used to be. Trust me, I’m happy for people who are fulfilled and pleased with their lives – more power to them. I aspire to be there myself one day, but if I ever get there again, I will NEVER brag about it, especially on a social media website. I was fully appreciative of my happiness when I had it; it was sacred to me because it made me feel genuinely good. I haven’t felt genuinely good for a long period of time in almost 2 years. Granted, things have gotten a lot better for me – I have little spurts of happiness here and there, so at least I’m grateful for that. But I still have a lot of work to do; I need to get out of “going through the motions” and really try to live a meaningful, fulfilling life.

Ever since I developed anxiety and depression in early 2010, I’ve valued happiness so much more, which is what keeps me fighting to find it again. When I was happy, I never took it for granted because I knew (and still know) others who have suffered from anxiety and depression. I never understood these conditions, I always thought that they should be easy to pull out of, but the reality of the situation is that they’re not. They require effort and lots of it.

I believe that by cutting out Facebook, I’m just putting more effort into improving my life. I’ve come this far (6 days) without the site at all. I’m seriously wondering if I should even go on it once per week anymore as my plans to not look at the Newsfeed or take a few days off haven’t worked out well. I’m over the general anxiety phase that I had on Saturday and Sunday where I wanted to look at the site so badly and didn’t know what to do with myself.

Why would I want to relive that start all over?

Maybe I’ll see how long I can holdout for and if I’m feeling brave enough and ready, perhaps I’ll finally delete my account.

Advertisements
 
1 Comment

Posted by on February 2, 2012 in Changing My Situation, Facebook Rants

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Day 2 Facebook free, an update

I had a therapy session with my psychologist on Thursday night after work. I told him how I get really obsessive about my social life and my quality of life. I also explained how a lot of my obsessions come about especially during PMS and how they are usually sparked by my usage of Facebook. He told me that I need to really limit the time that I spend on Facebook, which I already knew, but now I have someone, more importantly, my therapist to hold me to it. He proposed going on once PER WEEK, which is pretty drastic as far as I’m concerned, but I agreed to cut it down that much. After explaining the thoughts that I have – ideas such as worrying about how many friends I have, holding onto bad friends who treat me like crap, comparing my life to others’ – we both agreed that I have to change my attitude and be grateful for who and what I have in my life. I also have to cut the fat from my life – as long as I have good people around me, the quantity doesn’t matter.

So here I am, two days into my “Facebook detox” (I went on the site on Friday, which will be my designated day to go on once for a half hour) – a legitimate effort this time. I know that towards the beginning of my writing this blog I stayed away from the newsfeed and it helped tremendously, so I’m hoping that this works and that I stick to it. I think that I’d like to make a goal of either deleting my account or deleting all of my friends and staying on just for certain bloggers that I follow.

I’m tired of wasting time on the internet, I’m tired of watching everyone else’s lives and seeing their impression management skills (i.e. fake it ’til you make it), and I’m tired of beating myself up over my own life. I have a lot to be thankful for and I need to stop letting this technology get to me and stop it from making me want to keep up with the Jones’.

 
10 Comments

Posted by on January 30, 2012 in Facebook Rants

 

Tags: , ,

Thoughts a few days post-Facebook purge.

In all honesty (I’m kind of ashamed to admit some of these points), I had a variety of emotions after I had basically chopped my Facebook friend list down significantly to 207 friends. A part of me felt strong and empowered that I was finally able to take, for lack of a better term, “drastic action” (overdramatic) after so much internal conflict (over a social media website, who knew?). On the other hand, I got a little anxiety thinking about how much I was going to miss and questioning whether or not I have offended anyone by my actions. Sounds a bit off, right? I think it does. Why would I get this upset over virtual reality?

However, as I’m sitting here typing this entry today, I’ve been thinking that all of these emotions are the result of deeply seeded personality traits/attitudes/issues that I have in physical reality. Even though I didn’t speak to most of the people who I unfriended, I had a hard time cutting them out mainly due to my curiosity over how other people are living their lives, which in itself is a huge problem. My comparing my life to others has certainly contributed to my anxiety and Facebook really fed into those comparisons. It gets exhausting getting anxious and/or depressed because you saw a girl that you went to high school with get engaged, married, buy a huge house, have a baby and become a stay at home mom. Or when you see pictures of groups of people travelling or having a party, having a seemingly exciting and adventurous social life and you start questioning your own life and whether or not you’re “living it up” as they say. Clearly I’ve had these thoughts, therefore bringing about this Facebook cleanup for my own sanity.

Another thing that I thought about was whether or not I would offend someone by unfriending them. In the real world, I have an unhealthy obsession with being friends with everyone and being a people pleaser because I’m afraid to lose friends. There I said it – I sometimes stay with certain friends and make attempts to reach out even when it’s not reciprocated or I’m being treated badly. I don’t know why, but I feel like I can’t fully depend on myself yet (I used to before I developed anxiety), so I chose to keep anyone and everyone in my life even though I know that there are friends I should probably dump. That’s a confidence issue that I’ve been working on in therapy and will continue to work on as time goes on. Not that I was personally hurt when all 500 “friends” of mine didn’t write “Happy birthday” on my “wall”, but when a handful of people you’ve known for years miss or ignore your birthday on such an easy platform (i.e. login, write happy birthday, logout) and don’t even follow-up in any other medium (phone, text, e-mail, etc), that’s when I get offended. I tend to take things personally and that is always something that would make me feel down, yet I never call out people on their actions. I stay quiet and wait for things to blow over in my head. By deleting people off my friends list, I feel as though I’ve made a concerted effort to push myself to do what’s best for me regardless of what other people may think.

I need to stop caring about what other people may think; of me, my life, etc. That’s not to say that I need to act like a bitch as that’s certainly not my intention, but I need to speak up more and live my life for me. On the other hand, I read way too into things, take things personally, and in reality, few people actually care about what I’m doing. No one is watching me as we all have our own lives and things to worry about.

And somehow I seem to forget that sometimes.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on January 4, 2012 in Communication, Facebook Rants

 

Tags: , , , , ,

207 Friends.

Wow, this extended week has proven to be the “weekend of the Facebook purge” for me. I’m now down to 207 friends. Now the people are starting to look familiar to me! How exciting!

For now, I think I’m done purging my friends list, but we’ll see how things go. I made some interesting and not so interesting decisions in terms of who I “unfriended” tonight. Obviously I got rid of people from my various schools classes who 1. I haven’t seen or spoken to in years and 2. (and most importantly) said people who CONSTANTLY brag. On the other hand, I got rid of particular people for certain reasons.

In any case, I have to see how this goes as now it’s basically down to real people in my life and a few far removed classmates, etc. If I really can’t stand it anymore, I may deactivate or delete my account.

For now, I’m playing it by ear.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on January 2, 2012 in Facebook Rants

 

Tags: , ,

324 friends.

I do not communicate with 324 people regularly. I know this for a fact, but tonight I cut down my Facebook friend list from about 450 to 324. It’s a start to changing my social networking. I also deleted the Facebook app off of my iPhone.

I’m going to periodically cut my list down until it’s down to people I really know. This is not to be mean or anything, but I get way too curious and nice to people who I haven’t seen in years and who could give a hoot about me.

New year, new social media outlook.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on January 1, 2012 in Facebook Rants

 

Tags: ,

A new year, a new me? resolutions and reality.

Today is New Year’s Eve and I’ve thought about resolutions. Resolutions seem like a great idea, every year. But this year I’m trying to take a new approach. Instead of resolutions, I just need learn to take care of myself and not got frustrated if I miss a day at the gym or if I miss a day of my skin regiment. I need to relax and stop trying to be so stringent on myself. I hope to go out more with my boyfriend, family, and friends. Do more activities, take more trips (long and short). I just want to live in the present from now on, but I know myself, I won’t do that all the time. But I certainly want to try at least! The reality is that I’m human and I’m not perfect. To try to stick to a strict regiment isn’t going to work; life happens and it could throw off your schedule on any given day.

In terms of my health, I know that I use this blog to go over birth control and the anxiety and depression that I had, but I want to at least try to not talk about that so much and just focus on my feelings each day that I write. If I’m feeling anxiety on a day, so be it – it’s therapeutic for me to blog about it, but I have to focus on the present and find solutions to anxiety; how I would help myself through anxiety or irrational thoughts at that particular moment.

In terms of Facebook, I need to cut back (AGAIN!) because I spend way too much time on it (I fell into the trap). I have a few interest groups that I “like” and follow, but beyond that, the rest of the site is just garbage. Many of my Facebook friends fall into one or more of these categories and it’s getting annoying: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/friendship-20/201112/the-facebook-fix

I’m just hoping to improve upon things in the new year and continue to learn and grow.

Happy and Healthy New Year to you and yours!

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

The pros and cons of Facebook.

It’s been a while since I’ve ranted on the namesake of this blog, Facebook.

Before the internet, life was a lot more simple. Even though I’m 26 years old, I didn’t grow up with the internet – I’m a part of the last generation that was raised without a computer and had to use the phone and actually call people with it. I never knew what everyone was doing all of the time, I just heard what I heard and focused on my life. However, with the inception and subsequent global domination of Facebook in recent years, life has changed dramatically for me and I’d venture to guess most people as well.

Now I know what everyone is doing ALL OF THE TIME. It’s ridiculous; living these virtual lives instead of the physical ones that we have. I’m tired of it, it’s not fulfilling and it really brings out the bad in some people. I get really disheartened when I see my friends (not acquaintances, but people I actually speak to and see) engage in some of these behaviors, particularly posting items in order to brag or make other people jealous. I have to admit that sometimes I see things on Facebook and I get angry. When I was going through depression and anxiety, it really exacerbated my feelings and I had to stop looking for a while until I was able to control my emotions again.

With that said, I’ve really been contemplating deleting my Facebook account this week. Even though I don’t get as upset when I read the news feed (I started reading it a little bit again to satisfy my curiosity) anymore, I really can’t stand some of the things that I see. However, Facebook has its advantages. For example, just today one of my boyfriend’s friends, who is being deployed to Afghanistan soon, sent me his mailing address to pass long to my boyfriend (he rarely looks at Facebook and has better will power than me). It’s messages like that which make me keep my account active. I also am able to keep up with my cousins in Canada, my friends that moved to the West Coast (California, Colorado, Texas etc.) and other people who I don’t get to see very often. In addition, it helps me connect to special interest groups that I’m interested in and interact with people from those groups.

As of now, as I weigh the pros and cons, I’m still on the fence, so I’ll remain active.

nonetheless, in an effort to make myself feel better about my account, I deleted close to 100 people off of my friends list (I’m down to about 450 friends) – basically people who I never talk to plus anyone who I grew up with but can’t stand their posts. I still have way too many people on my friends list who probably shouldn’t be there, but I suppose I will clean it up in steps. Eventually I would like to make a real account and only be connected to people who I want to keep in touch with. But my curiosity about some of my virtual friends seems to be holding me back from unfriending them at the moment. I’m hoping that in time I can get over that.

I still waste way too much time on social media, even though I’ve cut back significantly.

Did you ever have to cut down or ween yourself off of a social media site? Any suggestions that you may have to make this process easier? Or better yet, did anyone ever stop cold turkey and feel much better about it?

 
5 Comments

Posted by on December 20, 2011 in Facebook Rants

 

Tags: , , , , ,